Actually, I watched the news last night. Oh boy. I rarely do that because local news is pretty abysmal. Not only the news itself, but the presentation, with its “if it bleeds it leads” mentality. That’s not just here in Central Florida; that’s pretty much everywhere. But here in Central Florida there’s a lot of bleeding going on, and it all makes local TV news.
In just one half hour newscast on Orlando’s WOFL-TV, there were these stories:
- Two teenagers allegedly shot a convenience store clerk. Twice. The clerk will be fine. The grandmother of one of the kids claimed her grandson told her that the gun went off accidentally. Apparently, once when he aimed it point-blank at the clerk’s face, and the second time when he walked around the counter and shot the guy in the leg. But before we judge these fine young people too harshly, we should be pleased that they weren’t going to use the take from the store robbery to buy drugs, they were going to use it to get an apartment. Allegedly.
- A kite-surfer in south Florida was attacked and killed by a pack of sharks.
- A woman accused of killing a man who won $17 million in the Florida Lottery a few years ago, tried to blame the crime on her teenage son. Her bond has been set at a million dollars.
- A nun was accused of kidnapping a 2-year-old child and taking her to Argentina. The child is now safely back in the arms of her parents. Oh, by the way, it turns out that Sister Mary, also known as Laura Caballero, isn’t really a nun. And the Catholic church she ran, St. Filumena Catholic Church, isn’t really a Catholic church. At least that’s what the Orlando Diocese and the Vatican say.
- A former porn star who had apparently had a fling with Tiger Woods is all upset that someone has made novelty golf balls with her picture on them. Actually, the golf balls have the faces of many of Tiger’s… uh… friends… on them. But the reason the former porn star is upset is because she says that people hit those golf balls. Her attorney is Gloria Allred, so it shouldn’t be too surprising to learn that this, somehow, will lead to domestic abuse. Sigh.
There was more in the same newscast, but isn’t that enough for one half hour? Besides, this has to be a short post today because there’s a doctor’s appointment in my very near future. I know you’re terribly disappointed, but there’ll be more tomorrow.
- Here’s what the world needs now: National flags made out of food. Be patriotic! Then eat!
- Have you seen these pictures of a mysterious UFO? It’s 90 million miles from Earth, but apparently no one knows what it is or where it came from. Also I love the headline from The Sun (UK): Space UFO Baffles Boffins. “Boffin” is a word with which, until yesterday, I was completely unfamiliar. According to Wikipedia, “In the slang of the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand, India and South Africa, boffins are scientists, medical doctors, engineers, and other people engaged in technical or scientific research.”
- You really have to take a minute and look at the photography of Michael Paul Smith. Then take another look, and see what it really is that has been photographed.
- And this short, silly video really appeals to the 12-year-old boy in me:
Have a great day! –Steve