In my Orlando neighborhood, there are many things I don’t quite understand. This is largely because of the number of billboards in Spanish with no English translation. In one of the first of my unfortunate choices, when I was in 8th grade, in Newington, Connecticut, I chose to take French instead of Spanish.
Then, after we moved to Florida in 1968, I chose to take French II and French III because, well, that’s the language I had started in back in Newington.
Given the choices we had, French was the most useless language I could have chosen. Okay, well, there was Latin. But at least I would’ve gotten the root of all the Latin-based languages. But French?? There’s exactly one time in my whole life where it came in handy.
It was 1972, and had just graduated from Winter Park High School. Our chorus was on a three-week concert tour through Europe, and a group of us was checking into a downscale hotel in Paris. I found myself translating between the desk clerk and my fellow students, pertaining primarily to les clefs to les salles. Once I had made it clear that we wanted those keys to our rooms, I felt quite the hero.
But now, I’m stumped. I’ve been back in Orlando for 7 months, and I will soon be leaving to return to Happy Valley. And although I’m not sure about many of the things I’ve heard, this one has me thrown for a loop. There’s a business, a couple of blocks from me, at which they apparently specialize in ashing hecks. It’s a brightly lit place, and it’s open 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I cannot discern any particular aroma wafting from it, so I’m assuming it’s not a restaurant. I thought maybe “hecks” were a certain kind of Latino meat preparation… and maybe “ashing” them was some quaint, Southern Hemisphere method of cooking them. Perhaps in clay pots. Or maybe not.
Anyway, I’ve taken a photo of the place, and maybe you can figure out what it might be. I’ve only been by there at night, so I can’t exactly see all the details.. but here’s the picture:
About three weeks ago, I sat on my glasses. Now they’re practically unwearable. So I decided to get my eyes examined (I know. I should go ahead and have my whole head examined…) because I think it’s about time to change the prescription. Of course, with my tight budget, I might just have to choose the duct-tape-the-lenses-to-my-face style. At least there’s a AAA discount. I think AAA is one of the best deals going. Especially if you need them because you lock your keys in your car, you need to be towed, or whatever. I just wish they didn’t make you go to those daily meetings. All they ever talk about is how much they used to drink. I can’t see how that pertains to driving, but… what? Really? Never mind…
- This is one of the best headlines I’ve ever seen: Rare Buddhist Flower Found Under Nun’s Washing Machine. They’re always in the last place you look…
- So ya wanna… brew your own beer? Learn about investments? Write a cover letter? Anything? Here’s the web site for you: SoYouWanna.com.
- What the world needs now: Dust Art. It’s… it’s… well, dust. And art. Just take a look.
- I have no idea who this is, or who “Hank” is, or why I’m bothering to post this video. But apparently we start with the premise that John Green is Fat. And then…
Have a wonderful day! –Steve