Monday March 15, 2010: Garden Fresh Waffles

I saw an ad on TV last night for Dunkin’ Donuts new breakfast sandwich.  Well, maybe it’s not new, because the ad says “it’s back!”  But since I was unaware that it had ever existed, and had returned, it’s new to me.  Anyway, what caught my attention was “oven-toasted waffles.”  Oven-toasted?  Real waffles don’t come from an oven, they come from a waffle iron.   Batter is poured into the grid, the iron is closed, and a couple of minutes later, out come real, freshly made waffles.

In essence, then, what DD is telling us is that they heat up a couple of Eggos and stuff them with sausage, egg and cheese.  But when they add the words “oven-toasted,”  it’s somehow supposed to sound homemade.  It’s like advertising 7-11 pizza by saying it’s microwave fresh.  You see the words “oven-baked” fairly frequently on restaurant menus.   Well, where else are they gonna bake stuff?  In a volcano?   Some places will tout their “hearth-baked” breads.  Really? They have a fireplace?  And instead of using a perfectly normal oven, they’ll bake their bread in a fireplace?

I’ve been reading descriptions on menus and in advertising for years, and I’ve come to the conclusion that there just aren’t any more new (or honest) ways to describe food.  So you’ll see breakfasts advertised with “farm-fresh eggs,” for example.  Yep, the employees at Denny’s, before they begin their shifts, go to the hen house and gather up the eggs.  Same with the “garden-fresh” salads.   They’re just about as “garden-fresh” as those bags of ready-made salad you find in the supermarket.

One of my favorite descriptions, though, is “mouth-watering.”  We hear that one enough so we really don’t think about what it means.  But I did hear a radio commercial years ago in which there was a pretty good description of the lunch fare to be found at a particular restaurant.  And then, these words:  “I bet you’re really salivating now!”  Salivating? Oh, yeah, that’s great.  That’s what we want to think of when we hear the name of this restaurant:  saliva.   Yum.

– – –

Throughout this week, posting may be a little sparce: I’ll have something every day, but it may seem like I’m thinking about something else.  And that’s because I am.  My target date for leaving Orlando and making the move back to State College is Tuesday March 23 — a week from tomorrow.  So I am a little preoccupied with all that lies ahead.  I did sell my beloved couch and recliner this weekend.  I actually almost felt tears well up in my eyes as they disappeared around the corner on a flatbed trailer.  And that reaction sort of surprised me.  But the cash I received for them helped dispel any doubts that it was the correct thing to do.

But I’m working at WMFE until the end of the week, I have to call for pick-up of some furniture yet (AmVets or Goodwill), probably rent a small truck this coming weekend so I can get more boxes and other assorted stuff into the small storage space I’ve rented, finish packing, decide what I will absolutely need to take with me in the car, and clean.  I’m also trying to plan the first week of shows on WBLF.  Sleep?  I don’t need no stinkin’ sleep!

Today’s Curiosities

  • Worst.  Commercial. Ever.

Have a marvelous Monday.  If there’s any such thing… –Steve


4 thoughts on “Monday March 15, 2010: Garden Fresh Waffles

  1. Pretty funny. And to think that they probably pay someone to write those menus. You left out “just like mom used to make”…no, I don’t think so.

    You must be wiped out–especially with the time change. Take a nap!

  2. as usual, your words crack me up! I was literally laughing out loud reading it. I look forward to hearing you on WBLF on my drive home as I’m ‘on the road’ at 3pm every day…

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