I’m not sure why I just started noticing this the other day, but I guess I’m a “senior citizen” now. I went out for lunch at Perkins’ on Tuesday, and saw the “55 and better” menu. Now, I’ve been 55 since August, but for some reason, I guess I just thought that that menu applied to the other 55 and “better” customers. You know, the old ones. The ones who are really 55. Then it hit me like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist (extra points if you know where that phrase came from.) I am one of those old 55 guys.
Is it just my imagination, or didn’t the senior citizen thing start at age 65 just a few years ago? When did it change?
In any case, for the first time in my life, I ordered from the senior menu. I sort of expected to be carded. But no, there was no suspicion on Perkins’ part that I might be pulling a fast one with underage senior menu ordering. And then came a vision of the future: Pulling my lime green pants with the white belt up to just under my armpits and heading for the early bird specials. Or maybe not. That’s for retired people. And given my current state of affairs, I will never be able to retire. Well that’s not strictly true. I could retire right now and live in relative luxury for the rest of my life. Provided, of course, I die no later than next Tuesday.
- If you haven’t completed your summer vacation plans, and are looking for something different, consider one (or more) of these Seven Offbeat Bus Tours.
- Now, for the little girl who has everything: The Hello Kitty Chainsaw!
- Another in our series of instructional films designed to help you become a better person: Let’s Share With Others, shall we?