Where Is Cap’n Crunch?

Generally, I stick with lighter-side subjects when writing in this blog, but today will be an exception.  This is serious, and there are a great many questions… and yet we have not heard a word — not one word — about it in the mainstream media:  Where is Cap’n Crunch?   I mean the real Cap’n Crunch, not the obvious imposter who has suddenly appeared on cereal boxes.

If you’re like me, you’ve noticed, but the notion that something has happened to the Cap’n, and it’s been covered up, is just too upsetting… too mind-boggling.  So we deny it.   But the time has come to face facts.  Look at this picture.  Even to the untrained eye, it is obvious that whoever that is on the right is not the Capn’ Crunch we grew up with:And these two commercials certainly tell the story.  The first, from the early ’80s, is the real Cap’n:

…but who, exactly, is this?

The voice is different… the face is different.  I guess the authorities think we’re too stupid to see that there’s a cover-up here, but you and I know better.  So where is the REAL Cap’n Crunch?  We need answers and we need them now!  Is he dead?  Or is it possible that he was kidnapped by cartoon Somali Pirates, and is now being held for ransom in some remote outpost?

Possible Cap'n Crunch Captor?

If that’s the case, how can our government stand idly by and let this good man suffer at the hands of foreign brutes?

Congressman Kucinich - may be calling for investigation

Congressman Dennis Kucinich, who has called for Congressional investigations before, may, at this moment, be calling for an investigation into the disappearance of Cap’n Crunch, and the subsequent cover-up… including the identity of the imposter.  And, come to think of it, calling for such an investigation would be perfectly in character for Congressman Kucinich.  Anyway, it is time to let Washington know that we, the American people want and deserve answers.

Further, the fact that I have attempted to call attention to this matter at all proves one thing:  I have far too much free time on my hands at the moment.

Sigh.

 

 

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