How did I get here?
I’m in Laramie, Wyoming, for what seems like the hundredth time this year. But I know it’s just been maybe ten times. Today, as I drove across Nebraska, which takes approximately three thousand hours, I got to thinking. And, God, I wish I’d stop that. Thinking, I mean. It just leads to trouble.
I thought about my life just a year ago. I was, I thought, happily married, I was hosting Morning Edition on WFDD at Wake Forest University… and although challenges lay ahead, I thought I had a partner for life… and a job that would sustain us for a long time.
Now, though, I am involuntarily single… no car… living in my sister’s basement… and contemplating becoming a heavily bearded, grouchy hermit, given to muttering to myself in bus stations, with the occasional anti-social outburst, before going back to muttering. Or not.
As I drove across Missouri yesterday, I listened to an audio book titled “Dear Leader: Poet, Spy, Escapee – A Look Inside North Korea.” As the title suggests, It is about a man who was a “poet” for the North Korean regime, and after having misgivings… and a very scary experience… decided to escape. I heard the harrowing story of his path from Pyongyang through China, and ultimately to South Korea. And I forced myself to think… “My God… I think I have problems… this man risked his life on an uncertain destiny… left his family never to see them again… and… and…….”
And it didn’t do any good. I selfishly clung to my own self pity: crumbled marriage, dead car… living in sister’s basement with the cats who puke on my socks…
But tomorrow, it’s on across Wyoming. Tomorrow, I’ll listen to a book by Sheryl Atkinson, who was pretty much cast aside by CBS News after digging too deeply into stuff that, apparently, CBS didn’t want her digging into. Let’s see if I can become a little less self-absorbed. G’nite!